1): The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.
2): Midweek services are announced EVERY Sunday night.
3): You [or the ladies you know] can swim in a denim skirt and still have fun.
4): It takes longer to TAKE prayer requests than it does to pray for them.
5): Your brother or sister in the Lord hugs you right in the middle of Wal-Mart.
6): The musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.
7): You have 50 pairs of church shoes.
8 ): You’re adept at stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.
9): You’re considered an old maid if you’re not married by age 18.
10): You consider Bible college “higher education”.
11): Running the aisles and jumping up and down is your exercise.
12): You could be an Olympic volleyball player with all the practice from church functions.
13): A birthday party is a night on the town.
14): While singing everyone moves like Kirk Franklin’s Choir.
15): The pastor says, “With this thought I close,” more than three times each service.
16): You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.
17): Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.
18 ): A run in your last pair of stockings is a national disaster.
19): You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and disheveled hair.
20): Your kids know how to eat any crunchy thing quietly.
21): When shopping for shirts, you always run it through the “Praise the Lord,” test.
22): Sunday mean no cooking or dishes.
23): You can maneuver into a vehicle without messing up your hairdo.
24): Celebrating your 21st birthday doesn’t mean much.
25): The employees at the restuarant down the corner from church know you by name.
26): You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.
27): You can pronounce, “Habakkuk”.
28): Growing up you baptize your cousins and siblings several times in the swimming pool.
29): Your 2 year-old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, “Praise the Lord! Eb shamma dabba yamma yabba dooba! *clap *clap* clap* Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah!”
30): The only thing longer than your prayer list is the hair of the ladies you know.
31): When it takes longer to take up prayer request then it does to pray for them.
a Pretty Face does NOT Mean a Pretty Heart; Everything that Glitters is Not Gold — For Such are False Apostles, Deceitful Workers, Transforming themselves into Apostles of Christ. & No Wonder! For satan himself Transforms Himself into an Angel of Light. [2 Corintios 11:13-14] *
“& en Los Postreros Días, dice Dios, Derramaré de Mi Espíritu Sobre Toda Carne, & Vuestros Hijos & Vuestras Hijas Profetizarán; Vuestros Jóvenes Verán Visiones,
& Vuestros Ancianos Soñarán Sueños.”
When People Lean on there Own Understanding is When they Start to Stray Away from Gods! —- Trust in the LORD w. All Your Heart & Lean Not on Your Own Understanding; in All Your Ways Submit to Him, & He will Make Your Paths Straight. [Proverbs 3:5-6] *
EL NO TE DEJARA! Su Mano Estará Extendida, No Padecerás. & Cuando Pase la Tormenta, entonces veras, Otra Vez Salir el Sol…
EL TE SUSTENTARA! Aunque Mil Caigan a Tu Diestra No te Dañaran, Porque El es Fiel. Solo Confía & El Cumplirá Su Propósito en Ti…
You Believe that there is ONE GOD. You do Well. Even the demons Believe — & Tremble! - James 2:19 *